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Tinpot emperor

By   /  February 18, 2019  /  My Column  /  No Comments

His cap fits him, especially as a measure of his ego. It points up like an airport tower as though intending to graze the sky. Ibikunle Amosun’s head gear suffers from what Sigmund Freud and his followers would call phallic anxiety. From base to top, the cap occupies a real estate bigger than his face […]

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Lest we forget

By   /  February 11, 2019  /  My Column  /  No Comments

As kids growing up in Warri, we dreaded a certain ant called Okurubas, a sly and nimble irritant. Its sting not only tumefied the skin but threw anyone, no matter how big, off balance in an instant. The victim could go down as though a softie of a wrestling match. We called the sting “site,” […]

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40 years of solitude

By   /  February 4, 2019  /  My Column  /  No Comments

It is wealth that beckons, beauty that seduces like a maiden, hills that kiss the clouds, scenic languor, the swagger of mountains, breath-taking channels of rivers and streams, treeless greens rolling to the horizon, moist soil, Nigeria’s highest peak, the charm of dreams. Our own Mambilla Plateau is what the poet John Dryden would describe […]

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Misery, O misery

By   /  January 28, 2019  /  My Column  /  No Comments

Those who love Onnoghen or who claim to love him are up in arms that the President has committed a moral wrong. But that is not what they are calling it in private. They offload more damning epithets that promise apocalyptic effects. Couching it in polite opprobrium, I would say they are claiming that he […]

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The fog of war

By   /  January 14, 2019  /  My Column  /  No Comments

It did not seem to belong here. Not in a democracy, where President Muhammadu Buhari has vowed to be penitent and born again. He had pulled off the soldier’s slough and replaced it with the flamboyant sobriety of the babaringa. I recalled the famous world press conference and the martial flourish of his fury: “The […]

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Herdsman innocence

By   /  January 7, 2019  /  My Column  /  No Comments

Suddenly the villages fall silent. The old tale has been overturned. The long nights of plunder. The raffia-roofed, mud-walled houses on fire. Old men and women lumbering lazily in tragic mockery of fleeing. The air sultry with the smell of death. By first light the next morning, body counts recount the tale of the night. […]

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Person of the year

By   /  December 31, 2018  /  My Column  /  No Comments

Before embarking on the journey, some locals said it was not far from Jos. Maybe 30 minutes. They may have been right if they reckoned with the landscape. The vision ahead promised booby-traps of bumps and body aches, even in a Toyota Land Cruiser that subdues rugged terrain into peculiar expressways. A contrast to what […]

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Not distinguished, not honourable

By   /  December 24, 2018  /  My Column  /  No Comments

They acted without the epaulettes of elders or the gravity of the name the law embossed on them. They could not distinguish themselves from the agberos in the motor parks. They kept at it even when it was obvious that they had chosen to be juveniles in an adult environment. It was as though they […]

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Age of innocence

By   /  December 17, 2018  /  My Column  /  No Comments

Over his Atiku romance, the Owu chief has declared that he is not neutral. He wanted to show that he is still in political bed with the Adamawa titan. But he shocked no one. Obj has never been neutral in his life. He has acted as the hyena who did not kill but would take […]

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How dare you be you!

By   /  December 10, 2018  /  My Column  /  No Comments

Not many want the ‘Buhari double’ saga to sag. Even now, some still believe it is all a ruse, and that Muhammadu Buhari is no more. We are in the era of el Sudan, and an impostor is on the throne. We have dressed the presidency in borrowed robes. Not even his assertion, in faraway […]

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